Neil Barsley

nbarsley @ 2008-02-06T21:28:00

2008-02-07T05:29:18Z

Guitar Hero III is the best/worst game ever. I'm totally addicted. I can't stop thinking about that south park episode when Stan's dad plays a real guitar.

nbarsley @ 2007-12-06T21:26:00

2007-12-07T05:27:28Z

In your opinion what is a reasonable amount of hours to work each week, and how many hours do you actually work in a week?

nbarsley @ 2007-12-06T21:25:00

2007-12-07T05:26:38Z

Ryan's Ben Harper quote is so deep it almost blew my mind.

nbarsley @ 2007-11-27T16:34:00

2007-11-28T00:34:37Z

I can't figure out how to read more than 20 entries on my friends page. I don't get it.

Ryan!!! This Onion Article is for you!

2007-10-12T22:15:44Z

This article made me instantly think of you. I think you'll love it.

I Just Discovered This Hilarious Comic Strip Called 'Garfield'

I don't usually spend a lot of time reading the comics pages (you know me: straight to the real-estate section!), but last weekend I found this great new one called Garfield. Man, oh, man, I suggest you remember the name, because it's going to open up a whole new world of entertainment for you. Trust me. You're going to love it.

Okay. First off, he's a cat. But not just any ordinary cat—as if! He's a lazy, fat cat with a whooooooooole lot of attitude. I'm cracking up right now just thinking about him! This cat has an in-your-face approach to dealing with life, that's for sure, and he doesn't care what anybody thinks about it.

I know, I know, at first I had the same reaction you must be having right now: How can an animal display human characteristics? It's just not plausible. But once I got over that initial hurdle, I realized that, odd as it may sound to the uninitiated, there's actually a great deal of comic possibilities in that crazy, seemingly impossible premise.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. You're probably a little confused, taking in so much new information at once. Let me slow down and give you some specific examples, just to convey the general gist of this irrepressible kitty.

Oh, Garfield.

Where to begin, where to begin. There's so much to tell you! Okay. Garfield—who always has this expression of "Yeah, whatever"—lives with his human owner, Jon, whom he just so happens to drive absolutely bonkers with his cynical ways. There's also a dog whom our feline friend does not like at all. (His name's Odie, and he really gets on Garfield's nerves.) All Garfield cares about is eating, and guess what his favorite food is? Lasagna! It's totally fattening, but he eats it anyway, even though he's already fat. He just doesn't care. But that's Garfield for you.

Oh, by the way, don't get him started on weight loss. When it comes to dieting, his attitude is "die" with a "T"! I'd like to see that on a T-shirt. In fact, I bet there's a lot of money to be made with such a venture, if the cartoonist could just be convinced to take a chance on the idea. Anyway, when Garfield's not eating, the only other thing he cares about is—you'll never guess this one—sleeping. You think that's funny? Guess where he sleeps. In pans of lasagna. Can you believe it? Who would ever sleep in a lasagna pan? Well, Garfield, that's who! He loves both so much that he's willing to combine them into one sidesplitting, perfectly irreverent visual combination you have to see to believe.

Garfield's always a bit of a grouch, but there's one day you really don't want to mess with him. Monday. Oh, boy. I've never met anyone who hates Mondays quite as much as this wicked kitty! But, I've got to tell you, as ornery as he is about it, part of me can't blame him. After a nice, relaxing weekend, who in their right mind would look forward to another five days of work (or putting up with Odie's incessant slobbering!) before it's Friday again? Ugh! I thought, "Hold on—this Garfield guy's been reading my mail!" And that's the way it is panel after panel after panel.

He may be one rude dude, but his offbeat quips are a real kick-in-the-pants reality check, Garfield style.

I was so impressed that I asked some of my coworkers about him. Apparently he's been around for a while and he's even in a couple of movies! They star someone named Bill Murray, whoever that is. From what I understand, Garfield himself is up there on the screen, walking and talking like in the cartoon drawings, but in live action, just like any other actor. I guess they can do just about anything with computers these days.

I could go on and on, but you've really got to check it out yourself. Just look in the newspaper under comics, and you'll find it in there. If you can't find it, I have some clippings I could lend you as long as you get them back to me. I promise, this cartoon cat is like nothing you've ever encountered in your life. Forget propriety, forget politeness—when it comes to saying what's on his mind, this is one wisecracking feline who leaves the rule book at home!

This guy is going to be huge—and no, I don't just mean fat.

Three Things

2007-09-30T00:58:22Z

I bought a new car.
I have to wear glasses.
I really need to travel.

nbarsley @ 2007-03-02T14:28:00

2007-03-02T22:29:14Z

Is it okay to post good things about your life in Livejournal?

nbarsley @ 2007-01-24T08:12:00

2007-01-24T16:12:28Z

is RATM really going to play at cochella?

nbarsley @ 2006-09-28T13:06:00

2006-09-28T20:07:36Z

I just conquered the quad-stacker.

Stick that in your pipe and fuck it.

nbarsley @ 2006-08-24T14:21:00

2006-08-24T21:23:05Z

How could you not think that naming your restaurant "Hitlers Cross" with a huge swastika would be offensive!?
But its actaully a pretty nice looking sign, and restaurant (except for the whole Hitler thing.)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/5275866.stm?ls

nbarsley @ 2006-08-10T22:32:00

2006-08-11T05:32:46Z

Do any of you have an account with demonoid.com?

nbarsley @ 2006-08-10T13:17:00

2006-08-10T20:17:26Z

I just got invited to my high school reunion. Ugh.

nbarsley @ 2006-08-05T10:33:00

2006-08-05T18:01:31Z

According to The Wall Street Journal...
Someone by the name of Toutsmith posted a film entitled "Al Gore's Penguin Army"
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZSqXUSwHRI ). The WSJ inquired about who the author
of the video was. ".. Computer routing information contained in an email sent from
Toutsmith's Yahoo account indicate it didn't come from an amateur working out of his
basement." Actually it came from the company DCI Group, which is a PR firm who works
with Exxon Mobil.

This story just proves how retarded people are in the PR business. They make a movie
that isn't funny, or clever, and it doesn't have any sort of coherent plot. I can just
imagine a bunch of PR executives sitting around a large table trying to come up with
ideas. "Perfect, well it may have taken us months, but our story with the copied the
linux penguin, and crappy sound clips in repeat will work miracles."

Then they get caught.

But the worst aspect of this story is that the video has been watched by around 150,000
people. I really hope that they saw through the crap.

Well to cheer everyone up, here is a picture from the Borat Movie what will be coming out in November

Well to cheer everyone up, here is a picture from the Borat Movie what will be coming out in November

nbarsley @ 2006-07-21T22:49:00

2006-07-22T06:00:49Z

We've moved to Modesto and I start work on "The Farm" on Monday. Everything is great. Our apartment is brand new and looks awesome. Everyone is welcome to visit. There is only one problem. There is a crazy heat wave in Northern California right now. It was 110 today and it's 93 degrees right now (@ 10:45p.m.). Its unbelieveable. The wedding pictures have been uploaded to my photographers shutterfly website but the prints are very expensive. So if anyone wants the high res digitial image just give me the name of it and ill send you an email with it. ***Warning*** There are 1700 pictures. 1700...

http://www.shutterfly.com/pro/MarkTantrum/Barsley

Is anyone else following the action in the Middle East? Israel and America are made for each other because both countries believe that they have the right to bully the rest of the world. Fox News had some extremely engaging material on today while I was waiting to take my drug test. Something about the brave American reporters... I wasnt really listening. Does anyone have any strong opinions about the issue? I would love to hear some different ideas.

nbarsley @ 2006-05-13T00:38:00

2006-05-13T07:50:57Z

Hi, my name is Sugar Bush. Pleased to meet you. My hobbies are getting dressed up like a doll for the enjoyment (and monetary gain) of my crazy mom. Pictured below:

Being an International Superstar and The World's Most Photographed Squirrel is amazing. I spend most of my days filling my time with self-loathing. Yesterday was an exciting day for me as I was magically transformed into a terrorist,

a woman,

and a homosexual.

But not all of my days are so bad. I have a calendar that you can buy from my website, but sorry folks, its all sold out!!!!!!!!
Tonight I plan on eating dried food and crying myself to sleep.

I would love to hear from you all, email me at sugarbushsquirrel@hotmail.com

P.S. God bless America the beautiful.

nbarsley @ 2006-04-24T11:21:00

2006-04-24T18:21:50Z

Holy Shit! I was totally wrong about creationism... or was I totally right?

http://www.dailysixer.com/godbanana.shtml

nbarsley @ 2006-04-20T10:44:00

2006-04-20T17:44:49Z

Yay the police!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guTrIybBjrU&search=Wonder%20Showzen

Let me puke in your hands
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibSfXHsQVz0&search=wonder%20showzen

Farmers are Americas dumb-bone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RpgXfmSbNY&search=wonder%20showzen

A mothers love is called boxed wine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv06N4cTNpI&search=wonder%20showzen

Delicious murder!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpeWATcAETE&search=wonder%20showzen

nbarsley @ 2006-03-07T22:39:00

2006-03-08T06:39:27Z

For Ryguy.

http://hedonistica.com/media.php?path=/videos/sleepy-kitten-video.wmv

nbarsley @ 2006-03-07T21:57:00

2006-03-08T05:58:00Z

How come I compusively check my livejournal friends page throughout the day, but when people actually write stuff I never really read it?

nbarsley @ 2006-03-02T10:27:00

2006-03-02T18:32:41Z

Its funny because he talks funny. (guy in medesto used karate to scare off a robber)
http://www.break.com/index/modestorob.html

Why dont anti-drug campaigns just show these people who smoke marijuana? It would have gotten me to quit much sooner.

http://frankdiscussion.netfirms.com/who_celebtokers.html

My favorites:
Keanu Reeves
Sonny Bono
Tommy Chong-- Really? No shit? Fuck these guys are really breakin' (2 electric boogaloo) some new ground here.
George Washington - Did they get their facts from Dazed and Confused?

nbarsley @ 2006-02-27T11:43:00

2006-02-27T19:44:48Z

Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AYDS? Do you think that this is where South Park got the idea for their subway episode?
BTW these videos are diet pills that were produced in the 80's. Called AYDS.

http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=658

http://wwtdd.com/ayds2.shtml

nbarsley @ 2006-02-19T22:30:00

2006-02-20T06:31:38Z

I am feeling down, depressed, unproductive and lost.

---Update: I finally got my period. Im feeling better now.

nbarsley @ 2006-02-14T10:50:00

2006-02-14T18:50:27Z

Another sweet david cross clip!
http://www.youtube.com/w/david-cross-on-carson-daly?v=srrPHeUozpA&search=david%20cross

nbarsley @ 2006-02-14T09:44:00

2006-02-14T17:45:37Z

Remember when the simpsons were funny?
This might jog your memory
http://gorillamask.net/meatyou.shtml

nbarsley @ 2006-02-05T23:03:00

2006-02-06T07:07:32Z

I dont know if any of you heard about James Frey. But he wrote a book about his years before he cleaned up from drugs and violence. He pretended that it was all autobiographical, but it wasnt. Oprah had the book on her book of the month club and was embarrassed when she found out it was a fake. So she had him on her show. This is how it played out:

http://www.hedonistica.com/archives/2006/01/oprah_beats_dow.php

Well thats not that great. But reading this entry by David Cross is:

http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artId=191

David writes:
Hey everyone,
I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy of James Frey's newest book. It's a soul-searching and no holds barred look at his life since appearing on the "Oprah" show. This shit is crazy! What a tough life this guy has had.

-David

--Read the rest of David's entry. Its awesome. Seriously.